you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
