i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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