On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He shit in the fireplace
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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