Define "chronic" masturbator.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
