So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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