At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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