hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
