Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
