i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
