me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
