you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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