Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
