honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
