either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
