is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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