That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
