i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
