I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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