I am in a vortex of obligation.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
