It's like a parade of train wrecks.
only you would photoshop your dick
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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