is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
