How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
