seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
