I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
