listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
