Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
