I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
