so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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