why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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