I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
