oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
you never un-have a 4some
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
