Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
