Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
