How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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