I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
