ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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