drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
