so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
