I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
