i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
