I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
