good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The uberlube is also flammable
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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