We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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