For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
