dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
