left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
there is puke in my bra ... again
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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