I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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