Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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