Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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