You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
