I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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